Hide! The Tiger's Mouth is Open Wide! Read online

  To Molly and Joel

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Open Now

  Zoological Society of London

  Catch That Bat!

  Chapter 1

  By Adam Frost

  Chapter 1

  ‘Tom! Where are you?’ shouted Mrs Nightingale.

  But her son was nowhere to be found.

  First she looked around the houseboat where they lived. She checked all three bedrooms, the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the deck and the roof.

  Then she walked out on the towpath where the houseboat was moored. She looked up and down the canal bank and shouted ‘Tom!’ again.

  She walked down to her father’s boat. His barge, the Molly Magee, was moored fifty metres further down the towpath. She swung herself on to the deck and opened the door.

  ‘Is Tom in here, Dad?’ she asked.

  Grandad was watching a cricket match on the television. His feet were in a washing-up bowl full of hot water.

  ‘’Fraid not, Katie,’ Grandad replied. ‘You’re OUT, sir!’ he shouted at the television.

  Mrs Nightingale walked back along the canal, peering into all the bushes and glancing up at the trees, checking to see if Tom was in any of his usual hiding places.

  She climbed back on to The Ark, which was the nickname of their boat. It had potted plants on the roof and wild animals painted on both sides.

  Her daughter, Sophie, was sitting by the kitchen table, wearing her coat and gloves.

  ‘Sophie, do you know where your brother is?’ Mrs Nightingale asked. ‘We can’t leave without him.’

  Sophie got up with a sigh. ‘This happens every time. Can’t you just tell him we’re going to the zoo instead?’

  ‘Lying is wrong, Sophie,’ Mrs Nightingale said. ‘Besides, I tried that last time and he saw right through it.’

  Tom was hiding. He had made up his mind about half an hour earlier and had tiptoed through the living room and off the houseboat. His mother and sister were too busy to notice – they were talking about a new ocelot that had arrived at London Zoo, where Mrs Nightingale worked as Chief Vet.

  As he closed the front door, one of the family cats – Mindy – slid outside too and curled herself around Tom’s legs.

  ‘Can’t stroke you now, Mindy,’ Tom said. ‘Got to hide.’

  He ran along the towpath and climbed up the bank towards the wall that separated the canal from the street. Then he walked along the wall for about ten metres, wobbling and veering from one side to the other, before lowering himself down off the end. He was now in the field behind the London Zoo car park, creeping through the long grass. When he reached an iron gate, he vaulted over, landing in the local boat repair yard. This was where barges were taken out of the water to be fixed or repainted or resealed. A small red houseboat was currently in the dry dock, propped up on wooden trestles, with half its hull missing.

  Tom spotted what he’d been looking for – the foreman’s shed. He quickly slid behind it, and sat down next to a tree. He was completely out of sight. He got his portable games console out of his pocket and started to play Ninja Hippos.

  Five minutes later, Sophie stuck her head behind the shed. ‘Come on, Tom,’ she said. ‘Time to go.’

  So Mrs Nightingale, Tom and Sophie all went to the dentist’s together.

  Tom couldn’t believe that Sophie had found him so quickly. She must have heard the beeps and pings from his games console. Next time, he’d turn the sound right down or bring his headphones.

  ‘Honestly, Tom, the dentist isn’t that bad,’ said Mrs Nightingale. ‘You don’t want to end up with brown teeth like Great-Uncle Humphrey, do you?’

  ‘Mm-nnn-mmm,’ said Tom, keeping his lips clamped tightly together.

  ‘It only takes about half an hour,’ said Mrs Nightingale, ‘and then it’s over for another six months.’

  ‘Nn-mm-nnn,’ said Tom, still keeping his mouth firmly closed.

  ‘What on earth are you doing?’ Mrs Nightingale said. ‘I can’t understand a word you’re saying.’

  ‘I think he’s refusing to open his mouth,’ said Sophie. ‘That way, the dentist can’t look at his teeth.’

  Tom pointed at Sophie and nodded. Then he pointed at his jaw.

  ‘It’s because they gave him a filling last time,’ said Sophie.

  Tom said, ‘Mm-nn,’ and pointed at Sophie again.

  ‘Well, if you spent more than three seconds brushing your teeth, you wouldn’t need any fillings,’ said Mrs Nightingale.

  When they arrived at the dentist’s, they sat down in the waiting room, side by side. Tom was still refusing to open his mouth.

  Sophie tickled him under the ribs and he burst out laughing, but still managed to keep his mouth closed, laughing with his eyes and snorting through his nose while fending her off with his arm.

  ‘Mm-nn!’ he said angrily, when he’d stopped laughing.

  Dr Sharp, the dentist, appeared in the doorway. He had wavy brown hair and a big beard.

  ‘Hello, Tom. Hello, Sophie. Who wants to go first?’

  Tom folded his arms and looked the other way.

  ‘Tom it is,’ said Dr Sharp. ‘Come on through.’

  Tom shook his head.

  ‘Come on, Tom, there’s nothing to worry about,’ the dentist said with a smile.

  Tom shook his head again and clenched his jaw more tightly than ever. Then he clamped his hand to his mouth.

  ‘Let me tell you something,’ Dr Sharp said. He leant forward and whispered something in Tom’s ear.

  Tom’s eyebrows shot up. He got up and walked quietly across the waiting room and into Dr Sharp’s surgery.

  Sophie and Mrs Nightingale looked at each other in disbelief.

  They remained puzzled for another ten minutes, after which time Tom reappeared in the waiting room with a gleaming smile.

  ‘So what happened?’ Mrs Nightingale asked.

  ‘Yeah, why do you look so happy?’ Sophie asked. ‘Did you get a badge or something?’

  ‘What? Oh, er, no,’ Tom said. ‘Actually, you won’t believe this – Dr Sharp said if I let him look at my teeth, I could go and help him next week.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Sophie asked.

  ‘Ohhhh, I see,’ said Mrs Nightingale.

  ‘Can someone tell me what’s going on?’ Sophie asked.

  Dr Sharp appeared behind Tom. ‘Your turn, Sophie.’

  ‘OK, but only if you tell me how you managed to get Tom in your dentist’s chair,’ Sophie said.

  Dr Sharp grinned. ‘Oh, it was simple enough. You see, as well as looking at human teeth, I also inspect the animals in London Zoo once a year. They need a check-up once in a while, just like you. And next Sunday is my official visiting day. I said to Tom that if he let me look at his teeth, then he could come with me on my rounds.’

  ‘Oh . . . OK . . .’ Sophie stammered.

  ‘You’re included in that offer too,’ Dr Sharp said.

  ‘Amazing, right?’ Tom said.

  Sophie nodded, too dumbstruck to answer.

  ‘I can’t believe I didn’t want to come to the dentist,’ said Tom. ‘It’s brilliant here. And it doesn’t hurt at all. Honestly, Sophie, there’s nothing to worry about.’

  ‘I know that,’ said Sophie.

  ‘Cool,’ said Tom airily, and sat back down in his chair. Then he picked up a comic that was lying on the table next to him and started to read it.

  ‘You’re unbelievable, you know that,�
�� said Sophie.

  Tom smiled. ‘Thanks, Soph.’

  Chapter 2

  The following Sunday, Tom and Sophie were racing each other to the zoo. They always went to the zoo at least once at the weekend because both their parents worked there – their dad as a zookeeper and their mum as Chief Vet.

  Today was a Big Day though. Dr Sharp was going to meet them at the gates.

  ‘Do you think he’ll examine all the animals?’ Tom asked as they trotted across the bridge that led to the zoo.

  ‘I suppose he’ll have to,’ said Sophie.

  ‘But they’ve got, like, fifteen thousand different ones,’ Tom said.

  ‘It’s more like seventeen thousand,’ said Sophie, ‘so yeah, maybe he’ll just look at the ones with sore teeth.’

  ‘And I suppose not all the animals have teeth,’ Tom said. ‘I mean worms don’t have teeth, do they? Or budgies? Or goldfish?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Sophie.

  ‘Or spiders? Or frogs?’ Tom continued.

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Sophie.

  ‘And some animals have massive teeth, don’t they?’ said Tom. ‘It would take him ages to look at an elephant’s tusks. And what about a walrus’s. Or a warthog’s!’

  ‘Yeah, and the zoo’s got five warthogs,’ said Sophie, ‘and they’ve each got two pairs of tusks. That’s . . . twenty warthog tusks!’

  When they reached the zoo gates, Dr Sharp was waiting for them. Next to him was a friendly-looking young woman with spiky purple hair and bright red lipstick.

  ‘This is Violet,’ said Dr Sharp. ‘She’s my assistant.’

  ‘Hi, Tom! Hi, Sophie!’ Violet greeted them enthusiastically. ‘Dr Sharp has told me that you’re London Zoo experts.’

  ‘I don’t know about that . . .’ Sophie said.

  ‘That’s right!’ exclaimed Tom. ‘Ask us anything you like!’

  ‘OK,’ Violet said with a smile. ‘Where can I get a massive chocolate croissant for my breakfast?’

  Tom and Sophie smiled. ‘This way!’ Tom said, and led the way to the Oasis cafe.

  After Violet had bought her croissant, Dr Sharp took an electronic notebook out of a black case that he was holding. He glanced at it quickly and said, ‘First up is Colin the camel. He’s a Bactrian camel, so he’ll have two humps. Bactrians originally come from the Gobi Desert in east Asia, but where does he live now?’

  ‘Over here!’ said Tom.

  ‘You’ve got to be careful with Colin,’ said Sophie, as they walked across the picnic lawn. ‘He’s got a bit of a temper.’

  ‘Make sure he doesn’t bite you,’ said Tom. ‘His teeth are like daggers.’

  ‘Well, his canine teeth will be like daggers,’ said Violet. ‘They’re these teeth here. The ones like Dracula’s fangs.’

  She pointed to the two pointy teeth in her own mouth.

  ‘But as for the rest of his teeth,’ Violet went on, ‘they won’t be like daggers at all. They’ll be pretty flat.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Tom asked.

  ‘Well, camels are herbivores,’ said Violet. ‘That means they only eat plants. Which tends to involve lots of chewing. Camels grind down grass and leaves and vegetables for hours and hours every day. For that, they need lots of rounded flat teeth.’

  ‘So it’s only carnivores that need sharp teeth?’ said Sophie.

  ‘As a rule, yes.’ said Violet. ‘If you’re a meat-eater, you need strong, pointed teeth to kill your prey and tear the flesh off their bodies.’

  Tom smiled. ‘Cool.’

  ‘Of course, there are also omnivores,’ said Dr Sharp.

  ‘What do they eat? Omelettes?’ Tom asked.

  ‘They eat everything!’ Violet said. ‘We’re omnivores. That’s why we have sharp teeth at the front and flat teeth at the back.’

  ‘It means we can gnaw a chicken drumstick and chew on a salad,’ said Dr Sharp.

  They had arrived at the camels’ enclosure. Mr and Mrs Nightingale were waiting for them.

  ‘Roger, Violet, good to see you,’ said Mrs Nightingale.

  ‘So what’s up with Colin?’ Dr Sharp asked.

  ‘Nothing really. He just needs a check-up,’ said Mr Nightingale.

  ‘OK, let’s have a look at him,’ said Dr Sharp.

  They all went inside the enclosure and Colin ambled over. Mr Nightingale gave the command ‘Kush!’ and Colin lowered himself down on to the floor. His legs completely vanished underneath his large brown shaggy body.

  Then Mr Nightingale put his arm around Colin’s neck and started to whisper to him. ‘OK, we’re just going to look inside your mouth. No need to panic.’

  Dr Sharp gently lifted up Colin’s lips. Colin shied away, but Mr Nightingale held his neck more tightly and stopped him rearing back.

  ‘A camel’s mouth and teeth are perfectly adapted to their native environment,’ Violet said to Tom and Sophie, as Dr Sharp poked around in Colin’s mouth.

  ‘You mean life in the desert?’ Sophie asked.

  ‘Exactly,’ said Violet. ‘He’s got a split lip, which lets him grip on to tough desert plants and strip leaves from spiky branches. The skin on his lips is tough too, so all those prickly cactuses and thorny twigs don’t hurt his mouth at all.’

  ‘So if I had teeth like that, then could I survive in the desert?’ said Tom, feeling his own mouth.

  ‘His teeth have to be strong too,’ said Violet, ‘to tear those plants out of the ground, and then to chew them up.’

  Tom looked again at Dr Sharp who was now prodding Colin’s gums gently. Colin was getting restless again.

  ‘Does Dr Sharp like his fingers?’ Tom asked.

  ‘Let me stroke Colin, Dad,’ Sophie said. ‘He’s always liked me.’

  Mr Nightingale nodded and moved to one side; Sophie came close and started to stroke the fur on Colin’s back.

  ‘Excellent, all done,’ said Dr Sharp. ‘He just needs a quick scrub now.’

  He reached down into his case and pulled out a gigantic toothbrush. It was more like a back scrubber or a toilet brush.

  ‘OK, this is when Colin might kick off,’ Mr Nightingale said. ‘Are you sure you’re OK there, Sophie?’

  ‘We’re fine,’ Sophie said, continuing to hug Colin’s neck.

  Dr Sharp squirted some toothpaste on to the brush. Tom expected the toothpaste to be in a giant tube too, but it was actually normal-sized. Then Dr Sharp started to scrub Colin’s front teeth. Colin, flinched, pulling his neck backwards as he began to push up with his front feet. Sophie slid off the camel’s neck and landed on the hard floor of the enclosure with a jolt. Dr Sharp dropped his toothbrush and Mrs Nightingale instinctively pushed Tom behind her.

  Mr Nightingale reached down for the harness that he had clipped to his belt. But Sophie was back on her feet, gently stroking Colin again.

  Colin leaned towards Sophie, lifting his neck up and staring ahead with a calm expression. Sophie gently put pressure on Colin’s neck, urging him to sit back down.

  ‘Let’s go down together,’ she said quietly.

  At first Colin’s legs stiffened and he seemed to refuse but, as Sophie kept stroking and whispering, his legs slowly gave way and he lowered himself back down.

  ‘Good work, Sophie,’ Mr Nightingale said.

  Dr Sharp picked up the toothbrush again.

  ‘Shall I have another try?’ he asked.

  Colin seemed to understand the question and immediately hissed at the dentist.

  ‘Colin likes Tom too,’ Sophie suggested. ‘Maybe if Tom was doing the brushing, Colin wouldn’t mind so much.’

  Dr Sharp looked down at Tom and nodded. ‘OK with me, if it’s OK with Tom.’

  Tom was handed the giant toothbrush. He stared at it as if it was a sword, not really knowing what to do with it.

  ‘Go for it, Tom,’ Violet said.

  Tom snapped out of his trance and nodded. He looked up at Colin and took a couple of steps forward. When he was close enough, he gently put the toot
hbrush in the camel’s mouth.

  Tom started to brush hesitantly, but then got more confident, scrubbing away at Colin’s front teeth, which were yellow and crusted with gunk. Sophie continued to stroke Colin’s fur and hum soothing songs.

  ‘OK, that’s fine,’ said Dr Sharp after a few minutes.

  ‘Oh,’ Tom moaned. ‘I only just started.’

  ‘He has the cleanest teeth in London,’ said Violet. ‘Zoo visitors will have to wear sunglasses to protect themselves from the glare.’

  Tom handed back the toothbrush reluctantly. ‘What about floss?’ he asked, looking suddenly hopeful.

  ‘He doesn’t need floss,’ Dr Sharp said.

  ‘Mouthwash?’

  Dr Sharp and Violet shook their heads.

  ‘You were very helpful though,’ Dr Sharp said. ‘I don’t think Colin likes me at all. Fancy helping me with our next patient?’

  ‘Who’s next?’ Sophie asked.

  ‘Harriet the pygmy hippo,’ said Dr Sharp.

  ‘Definitely!’ Tom and Sophie said together.

  A few minutes later, Mrs Nightingale was leading Dr Sharp, Violet, Tom and Sophie into the hippos’ enclosure. Mr Nightingale had gone on ahead to lure Harriet out of her pool.

  ‘Are hippos herbivores or carnivores?’ Tom asked.

  ‘Herbivores,’ said Dr Sharp.

  ‘So they’re peaceful, plant-eating creatures then,’ said Tom.

  ‘Not exactly,’ said Violet.

  ‘Not exactly?’ Sophie asked.

  ‘OK, I mean not at all,’ said Violet. ‘Yes, hippos eat plants, so they have lots of flat molars at the back of their mouths to grind and chew vegetable matter. But they also have to defend themselves against lions, crocodiles and sometimes other hippos. So they have some of the longest, sharpest canine teeth of any land animal. And their teeth are the hardest in the world – some people think they can even deflect bullets!’

  ‘Wow!’ exclaimed Tom.